Fiction Fundamentals

I operate a critique service (HiredQuill), so I see a lot of manuscripts from new novelists. Often, the story starts with a bang–a great passage of dialogue, an action sequence, an intriguing lead that grabs my attention–and I read on.

Unfortunately, paragraph number two almost inevitably contains what I affectionately refer to as “The Great Backstory Dump.” Using the opening paragraph from one of my WIPs (works in progress), I’ll give an example:

Versailles, 1731

Adrienne DuMont picked up her skirts and hurried from her apartment through le Château de Versailles’s vast chambers. She ignored the muraled walls appointed with gilted bronze. Not even the beveled mirror-lined hall, reflecting scenes from the gardens, diverted her eyes as she rushed toward the Royal Court. She hoped she wasn’t too late.

Adrienne was a 17-year-old former commoner, whose father, a clerk for the royal treasury, devised a plan to help bring France from the near financial ruin caused by Louis XIV’s unchecked extravagances. So grateful was the king’s predecessor, Louis XV, that he dubbed her father royalty and provided him quarters within the palace. Adrienne had flowing auburn hair, and, even with daily lemon treatments, freckles dotted her fair-skinned face. Blah, blah, blah (for another half-page or more)…

Do you see what I mean? At the end of the first paragraph, the reader is most likely thinking, “Hoped she wasn’t too late for what?” But, by the time the reader learns Adrienne’s entire life story, she neither remembers nor cares what first prompted her to continue reading. In fact, she’s probably put the book down by now and decided cleaning out the refrigerator would be more entertaining.

Why take the trouble to hook the reader if you’re only going to throw him back? I don’t fish much, but when I do, after baiting a hook with a slimy worm or wriggly cricket, sweltering in the Arkansas sun for hours, and making a fool of myself with my less-than-professional casting techniques, you can bet if I do catch a fish, I’m going to follow through with the best part–serving it for supper! Once you’ve caught your reader with a great lead, you’ll want to follow through with a great story, too.

In his book, Writing the Breakout Novel, Donald Maas suggests inserting NO backstory for the first 50 pages. That’s right–FIFTY pages! This is a tough challenge, and most authors don’t comply. However, you can use other tecniques to reveal backstory without using The Great Backstory Dump, such as dialogue. If it’s absolutely necessary for the read to know at this point in the story that Adrienne was formerly a commoner, have someone bring it up in conversation. But, in this case, and likely in your story, most information is NOT vital in the opening pages. That’s the key–when does the reader need to know this information?

I know, you’ve slaved for hours compiling enough scraps of research notes to fuel a college homecoming bonfire. You’ve written reams of character profiles. And you want to share all this exciting information with your readers. Have patience. You will get to share it–as much as you want, really–but, as Captain Jack Sparrow said in Pirates of the Carribbean, “Wait for the opportune moment.”

In the meantime, you’ll write the majority of your story in “immediate scenes.” How is this accomplished? We’ll discuss that in the next session.

Until then,
Happy Writing!